i feel fine and i feel good

damn

Sat, 06 Jan 2007 23:17:37 GMT

today jenny and i went to the stax museum. it was absolutely delightful! i love being from memphis, tennessee. anyway, on my way home from jenny's, at a red light, some old black man in an orange truck waved at me while grinning. I LOVE THIS PLACE. where should i live when i grow up? i don't want to live here, but i know after school it's where it's gonna be.

i wanted to actually make a post, but my sister wants to update her myspace picture. i totally understand, and i'm signing off.

damnnnn

Fri, 22 Dec 2006 16:28:36 GMT

shit! this swelling won't go down. and today i woke up with another black eye. this is mortifying. i look like i have gained 20 lbs in the face and then was beaten up by an abusive man. i still have a lot of christmas shopping to do and i wanted to go to meg's party tonite and margaret's tomorrow. i hate to be wrapped up in my looks, but NO way am i going out like this. the pain killers suck, i take one and just fall asleep. no hallucinations or delusions. one good thing about this is the amount of ice cream i have consumed, and it looks like i'm not gaining from it.
yesterday i did go see a therapist about my binges. she blamed my lack of men in my life. get the fuck over it, america. everyone doesn't depend on the opposite sex for happiness.
oh yeah, i ordered a cell phone for my mom off ebay for christmas and the damn dude didn't send a battery. i emailed him and he said he will send one right away. i hope this works?

almost home!

Tue, 12 Dec 2006 17:44:48 GMT

today i took my genetics exam! damn! it was sort of bad even though i invested probably a total of 5 or 6 hours of studying. i guess i should of turned off law and order's SVU to fully concentrate.
this weekend jenny and i went into nashville. our friend caitlin was having a house-warming party and her freezer was full of liquor! i accused baby ben of being a homosexual at least 15 times, was in the room when chad slapped doug, and consumed half of that damn yule log. i had been overeating since jenny's dad came into town last tuesday. (i had two donuts on tuesday night, went to a science meeting and ate a shit load of cookies on wednesday, ate another shit load of cookies on thursday at the library party, and friday ate an entire box of shortbread cookies from kroger.) woo wee, i told my mom to get me an appointment with allie's psychologist to get this binge-eating fixed.
i'm coming home tomorrow afternoon. i will probably hang out with my mom and sister. then ez cash work starts on thursday and friday. i am going to try and force myself to go in saturday since i am going to be missing work next week because of my wisdom teeth pulling. CASHOLA. saturday night i am hitting the ez cash party and then sunday morning hitting knoxville to drink with the hansom family.
nothing else going on anywhere else in my life. just school and work.

spring '07

Thu, 16 Nov 2006 00:53:15 GMT

classes i know i am taking:

physics I lab + lecture
biology literature
honors theatre appreciation
psychology of the criminal mind
parasitology lab + lecture

and this is just 15 hours.

now, should i take:
aerobics walking (just to make sure i exercise)
or
speech?

i know i should take 18, but fuck, i don't want to. physics is going to be tough. i think?

friday and saturday in pictures

Sun, 05 Nov 2006 03:15:40 GMT

free cookies at kroger.
discounted fifty cent bag of candy corn from target.
free ice cream via taylor from marble slab.
free pbr keg at wes's.
weird drunken brawl.
pecan pancakes at cracker barrel.
realizing with jenny how horrible a person robert is (and thus cutting him out).
half off sale at goodwill.
wonderful dinner.

WHOA

Sat, 28 Oct 2006 16:48:13 GMT

i just saw this facebook group called: "Abortions is murder. if you don't want a kid then don't open your legs, ho"

besides the fact that they used a singular verb for a plural subject, there are 114 people in it. i am a little shocked about the harshness of this.

Thu, 26 Oct 2006 21:00:00 GMT

lookie here.

go murfreesboro.

paaaaaaaaaaain

Sat, 21 Oct 2006 20:32:50 GMT

oh my god. some girl in one of my classes told me about this 4.5 mile walking trail, so jenny and i hit it today at about 12:30. after reaching the end point and finishing up our whining/crying/griping, we realized the damn trail wasn't a circle. we had to walk back the 4.5 miles. needless to say, i am in FUCKING pain. and i pride myself on being able to run a straight 30 minutes, but 9 miles is no good on anyone. we left the park at 3. two and a half hours.

Fri, 13 Oct 2006 21:38:40 GMT

oh yeah, jenny found some kid's eljay yesterday and it said probably the most accurate statement about college dating/relationships ever. it was something along the lines that in high school, it's easy. you go on a date with someone, have awkward dinner, then finish it with a kiss. in college, you have to get them drunk and be at a party before you can even ask them out. what a profound kid.

damn myspace

Fri, 13 Oct 2006 20:58:57 GMT

myspace won't let me get on. usually i don't give a shit, but i'm really bored. i hate the television. i watched some shit on vh1 about notorious b.i.g. i packed for chicago. i have eaten 3 granola bars and 4 rice cakes. i need food here. oh well. campus is really dead already. today i took a test in microbiology and it wasn't bad at all. my biology friend is always talking about drinking and smoking "nuggets". i really should just get over it and start smoking pot. at least i can avoid the stupid power-tripping crazed cops here that routinely give out underage consumption tickets now. rachel ray's new show sucks.

halloween poll!

Mon, 02 Oct 2006 01:32:18 GMT

after hearing jenny planning her halloween costume, i have decided that i also really want to go all out.

should i be:

lolita

mia farrow in rosemary's baby (i will carry around a black spray painted baby doll)

cleopatra (liz taylor style)

what does everyone think?
lolita requires being sexy which i know i could never present myself as. but i can easily act like a freaked-out mother or some egyptian queen.

"la di da"

Mon, 25 Sep 2006 19:15:20 GMT

the LL is fucking hot.

weekend: fair with allie. funnel cake, fried snickers, cheese pizza. all the rides. countrywood yard sales with mom and allie. records, clothes, and cheap jewelry. garbo's with jenny, hydroplaning (sp?) on nonconnah, mexican food. buying out the wolfchase galleria, asleep at 9. church, huey's, road trip back.
i had fun this weekend despite just hanging out with my family. (i'll consider jenny family now.) my mom gave me a pink top with bunnies, britney spears's fantasy (SHIT! i love this smell), and my sister gave me two books about style and fashion. like mainstream books about fashion-- is she trying to tell me something?

this week is gonna be bad.. i have three tests including one today in art. fuck, i need to get out and go study in the library. grocery shopping + old navy + gas tonite.
last night we got to do the radio show for steve's time! fuck it was fun! we played all memphis shit and we didn't run out of music. (even though i was really worried.)

oh my god, i cuss so much in this.

twisting the night away.

Wed, 20 Sep 2006 17:20:55 GMT

hello. i just got out of class early because of a test for microbio. i worked in a study group today and yesterday. fuck i hate that shit. i am better off by myself. anyway this morning was the radio show and i winged it. it was fun. my literacy level has dropped again since being back in murfreesboro. sorry.

anyway. i messaged that kid from friday night even against the advice of jenny and chad. i am glad i did it. he messaged back inviting me and jenny over to his house or some shit. after an hour of reading it, i was like fuck! no! i don't want to see him again. this is so bad bad bad. i can't do this to myself or other people.

this week i have been really productive concerning school. thank god, i was becoming worried that i was going to not do shit all semester.
i am coming home this weekend to hang out with my mom and sister. i am hitting the mid-south fair and a fried twinkie. maybe force them to take me to mexican on saturday night?

it's really cold outside and my body won't produce any body heat.

yikes

Wed, 06 Sep 2006 19:26:52 GMT

i just changed my major to biology. damn, it was so anticlimatic. i am making one of the biggest decisions of my life and she was like do you want your concentration to be animals or physiology? and i was like, "oh god, animals sounds easier." fuck! what am i doing with my life? i am pretty sure i don't want to do psychology-- it all overlaps and some of the shit is bullshit. "some of the shit is bullshit".. obviously i can't be a writer either. fuck fuck fuck. i hate this. after i signed the form, i seriously wanted to cry.

i got a package from katherine today with 1 point bagels. OH MAN! this is gonna be the highlight of my week. i love doing the radio show in the morning too.

jenny and i have goals to be more physically fit (actually, just thinner) by september 28th!

nancy grace.... again

Mon, 28 Aug 2006 00:28:23 GMT

we just plugged in the tv. the tv was already on the food network. fuck i am so tired. today i ate with jenny's family at cracker barrel (her step g-pa called me trixie.. i let him), went to wal-mart and wasted more money on food, went to look at tim's house (OH MY GOD, HE IS SO AWKWARD.), and then in about an hour we are going to go to steve's radio show. i am so hungry, but i just ate some cereal. when i come back to memphis in a month i am going to weigh 100 lbs and jenny is gonna weigh about 80, and probably have a mangled face and a broken tooth.
classes start tomorrow!!

Mon, 31 Jul 2006 02:31:12 GMT

i like books with metaphors of some simple experience of life and after reading it, you go BAM. what did they just say? and you have to read it over to realize what was said. i like words. or i like the effect of nice phrasing.

i need something. faith. peace. hope.

Sun, 23 Jul 2006 20:25:35 GMT

cannot function. need more sleep. have quiz and prelab to do. want to lay in bed and watch movie. ate a bisquit and cereal. too much food. had an extremely weird nightmare involving my sister running away, some guy from mtsu coming over to my house and seeing my dad naked, and driving drunk and getting in a car wreck.

had fun last night.

Mon, 17 Jul 2006 00:21:59 GMT

i need to remember to post to my eljay when school starts back. i like looking over entries from the past two semesters. i wonder if the livejournal company will still be running in a hundred years and my grandchildren can read my "diary." my aunt reads her grandma's diary (i guess she is my great grandma), but that's on paper with ink.

this weekend was good. the farm party was fun, different than the other three but all have been like that. even though the temperature probably remained in the 80s all night, i almost froze. saturday i watched shopgirl and in her shoes. in her shoes really paralleled with my life and it was fucking creepy so i stopped it. last night memphis was dead, and an outfit was wasted.

today went to church and then to wild oats to eat lunch. i have taken two naps today and i still crave sleep, but i have so much orgo chemie to do.

i can't wait for school to start.

dying of boredom

Wed, 12 Jul 2006 14:47:37 GMT

lab started at 7:30 today, and we got out at 8:10 because it was just check in day. so now i am in the computer lab. wasting time until 10:50. i should leave the campus or at least walk around, but this backpack is heavy and i like my parking spot.

blah blah i am sitting at a computer that is directly in front of the entrance. so everyone walking in is seeing me on myspace, facebook, livejournal, ebay, nytimes.com, etc etc ... basically nothing that relates to school.

feeling a bit hopeful about life again.

Wed, 12 Jul 2006 01:56:10 GMT

i'm hungry.

does psychiatry work? or is it a completely hopeless situation and once you are tainted with a mental disorder, it's forever hell? i guess i should have my mid-life crisis now, before i invest 10 years into this career.

when you call my name

Fri, 12 May 2006 23:16:52 GMT

lord. this town.

from easter to being let out of school (about 3 weeks), i put 40 miles on my car total. since being back in memphis (a week), i have put 97.
last night we went to the buccaneer. phrases like "i would take the old hot man in the pompadour" and "damn, the meth addict is hot" has reentered the vocabulary.
i talked to my brother today and i was like some people probably don't know who we are since we haven't been here in so long and he was like no one ever knew who you guys were. and then i said, well they have to push through us to get to the bathroom. and sadly, my sentence reflects last night. and every night.
i rented the brown bunny. and lost in paradise.
i am reading nauseau, but i do not know how long i am going to last.

Thu, 11 May 2006 01:56:10 GMT

"no one has studied the psychology of a dying party. it may be raging, howling, boiling, and then a fever sets in and a little silence and then quickly quickly it is gone, the guests go home or go to sleep or wander away to some other affair and they leave a dead body."

my ear!

Wed, 10 May 2006 01:20:14 GMT

i lost the hearing in my left ear. and tonite while i was eating a bagel, i popped it back. i can hear again.

i cannot stand living in this house. my sister has hurt so many people and she has only proved that she will keep going. i do not know what goes on in her brain, but i cannot get anything across to her.

i may be moving out to my aunt's when school starts in june. i am pretty sure school is going to be really bad. and i am going to be crying every night. nothing new, just a different thing to be crying about.

i got a 55 cent raise. i now make 9 dollars an hour!

ouch

Sun, 30 Apr 2006 18:34:53 GMT

this weekend has been really bad with overeating. after my inspiring post about controlling my weight and loving exercise, i do this. it's okay.

holy shit, it hit me today how fucking excited i am to go home. i am glad i have this feeling, i sort of didn't want to leave. FUCK THIS PLACE.

Mon, 17 Apr 2006 18:02:07 GMT

school is becoming very busy and complicated. i signed up for the two organic chemistries at the university of memphis this summer. it is going to be interesting to balance all this shit.

i am taking biochemistry, honors genetics, microbiology, orientation to art, social psych, and seminar on careers in psych. all 180 spots for physics were taken up.

shit! school is scaring me.